So, I know I said I would be continuing on with the story, but there has been a change in plans. I will be transitioning to my boarding school, across the country. And I need to focus on that. I need to put my heart into my new life, 100 percent. This is my chance at a fresh start.
I promise you though, the story got better. My life got better. After some really rough patches, and my parents refusing to see me for a visit, and everyone at my program telling me what I was doing and how it was affecting them and my future, I knew I had to change. I knew that I was not going to have a life if I kept living the way I was living.
And for the first time, I actually wanted to live. I wanted to see things get better, for my family, for my friends, and especially for myself. I knew I deserved happiness, real happiness. And that was something I had never experienced before.
The work was hard. I mean it genuinely seemed impossible at times. But, it was the most rewarding commitment I have ever made. Well, to be honest, it was the only thing in life I have ever finished.
When I graduated my residential program, I knew it was because I deserved it. It wasn’t because I had manipulated everyone, or my parents had rescued me, or people just gave up because I pushed so hard. I put in the effort and the time and the dedication. And I am so proud to say I have a life now. I have a future. It doesn’t involve drugs or alcohol, sex with random people, sneaking out, lying, having no family, and dying young. I am going to be someone and do something with my life.
The road was rocky and painful, yet so worth it. I wouldn’t change anything. I have made a lot of mistakes, more than my fair share. My life before treatment was a tornado of mistakes. But I wouldn’t change any of it. I wouldn’t take away my own pain either. Everything that I went through has made me who I am today. And that is something I wouldn’t change for the world.
And sure, my parents and I still fight, I still mess up, and I’m never going to be perfect. But there is just one Emily. I’m a real, whole, person now. I have an amazing family who love me and support me unconditionally. I have an insane (in a good way) group of friends, who will forever and always have my back. And I am at peace with myself.
All of these things, I never imagined were possible. Yet here I am. I had to relearn how to live life and now I’m going to go live it. As a normal teenager, with just a little more self-awareness.
Thank you all so much for reading and following me through an important part of my journey.
And to anyone who is going through this process, it does get better. and I promise you, it is worth it. Keep going.